Shoplifters Wear Hollowed-Out Watermelon Masks, Cops Make Arrest

5:38 PM PT — The police chief in Louisa, just outside of DC, tells us the one suspect in custody thus far is 20-year-old Justin Rogers … who was booked on three charges — misdemeanor larceny of alcohol, misdemeanor possession of alcohol by an underage person and felony prohibition of wearing a mask/face covering in public. Yep, that’s super illegal there.

Cops might’ve already cracked the case.

Your Smile For Today

My Easter Display

Let the Battle of The Easter Chicks BEGIN !

A Quarantine Diary

A Gentleman posted this, have yourself a laugh.

 *   Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.


  *   I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.


  *   I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.


  *   Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter —– The Living Room or The Bedroom


  *   PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.


  *   Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.


  *   I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

  *   This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog….. we laughed a lot.

  *   So, after this quarantine…..will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?


  *   Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.


  *   Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.


  *   I’m so excited — it’s time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?


  *   I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I’m getting tired of Los Livingroom.


  *   Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.


  *   Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year”…. I’m offended.


* Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under

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